“Build Emotional Bonds, Set Consistent Boundaries”

At a panel organized by Bornova Municipality, experts emphasized that healthy child development is not about fulfilling a child's every wish, but about being emotionally available when they need support. Psychologists warned that inappropriate parenting approaches during childhood can lead to aggressive behavior in adolescence, stressing the importance of setting clear and consistent boundaries through love rather than fear from an early age.

Bornova Municipality hosted an important event focusing on positive approaches to child development. Held at the Multi-Purpose Hall of the Uğur Mumcu Culture and Arts Center, the panel titled “A Child’s Needs, an Adult’s Responsibility: Understanding or Guiding?” featured Clinical Psychologist Çağrıhan Bahadır and Specialist Psychologist Merve Aydoğan, who shared valuable insights and practical guidance for parents.

Childhood Mistakes Reappear in Adolescence

Speaking first at the panel organized by the Department of Women and Family Services, Clinical Psychologist Çağrıhan Bahadır emphasized the importance of the quality of the emotional bond between children and caregivers. He noted that fulfilling every request does not necessarily create a healthy attachment and stated:

“An emotional bond means that a child feels their caregiver is emotionally present and accessible whenever they need support. During the attachment process, communication should always remain open, patience is essential, and we should not expect immediate results. Constantly pressuring children by repeatedly telling them what to do and presenting our expectations as obligations is a serious mistake. These unhealthy approaches in childhood often emerge as intolerance and aggression during adolescence. Instead of seeking quick fixes for behavioral problems, we must address their underlying causes.”

Children Learn Boundaries from Adults

Specialist Psychologist Merve Aydoğan highlighted that inconsistent parenting and impulsive reactions can leave lasting effects on children. Emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries, she said:

“Children are not born with ready-made boundaries; they learn them through our words and actions. Every social environment—from family and school to parks and relatives—plays a role in this process. Consistency is the most important rule. For example, if a child refuses a meal they dislike, parents should not immediately prepare an alternative or allow crying to become a way of getting what they want. Boundaries should be taught gradually and consistently from an early age. We should never forget that a child’s need to belong is greater than their need to be right or successful, and education should never be based on fear.”